Over the past month, I’ve realized that my identity is not defined by the term “single mother.” I know that as far as labels go, that’s what I am, but it’s not WHO I am. I’m just a mother, like any other. Although I was still married for the first two years of my little love’s life, I was parenting alone. I’m grateful for that now; that I had to learn how to be a single mother from my daughter’s birth, not halfway through her childhood. I think it must be a lot like having twins, before you have any other children. It’s the only way you know how to parent, and even though it’s difficult and challenging, you don’t know any other way.
I recently went through a family legacy class at my church, in order to prepare to have my little person dedicated. During this time, we worked to be intentional in our parenting, and intentional in setting goals and a direction for our family. It was through this class that I had to face myself as a mother, in the here and now, and own my family.
Before the first meeting of our class, I nearly had a heart attack. I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions of joy and anxiety. On the one hand, my prayers had been answered, as we finally seemed to be finding a place within our church family, while on the other hand, the anxiety of being the only person in the class without a “dad” next to us almost convinced me to back out.
I don’t have these insecurities very often, but when I do, they can be crippling. The truth is, I love our life. We have been so blessed by the love of friends and family, both within and outside of church. God has blessed us with a fullness in our lives, preventing any void from ever being created. Our family and friends have provided the support and care that a partner or father would, without ever having to be asked. When God gave me the greatest gift of my life, my daughter, he also raised us up a village of the most wonderful people.
Towards the end of our class, as we were preparing to write our family covenants, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My sweet girl and I are a family, right now. We are not two people waiting for our forever family of the future; we are already there, a perfect little family of two.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for my family. Thank you that you are a God who safeguards and protects family values. I am so humbled by the love and support that you have filled our lives with. Thank you for blessing us as a family. I pray that my sweet girl will forever be surrounded by loving family and friends, and that you will guard and protect her every step. I praise you, that you have created us for nothing less than good. Amen.